Tools for the way you actually talk
Tandem learns a little about each person in your circle: how you communicate, how you text, what helps when you’re struggling and how you feel loved. Then it puts that to work in every message, conversation and plan.
See how it will land, before it sends
Write to your partner or family inside Tandem. Before anything goes out, the coach reads it the way they might, and flags words that tend to start fights: blame, “always” and “never”, sarcasm, guessing what someone thinks.
- A plain-language note on how it might land, from calm to heated
- A kinder rewrite that keeps your point, tuned to the person reading it
- Use it, edit it, or send your own words. You’re always in charge
- A phrase library for the moments you don’t know what to say
- React to messages with a heart, a laugh or a hug
What they really mean, on three levels
Short messages carry big feelings. Tap any message from someone in your circle to see a gentle reading of it, shaped by how they text. If they’ve told Tandem that “fine” means “I’m fine”, the coach won’t read a crisis into it.
- What they’re saying: the plain facts of the message
- What they’re feeling: the emotion that may be underneath
- What they may need: and a way to answer that meets it
A quiet coach for in-person conversations
For the talks that matter most, start a live session. Each person agrees on their own phone, and each phone listens only to its owner’s voice. The coach shows small, private cues while you talk, then a short summary at the end.
- Consent from every person, every time. Anyone can end it
- Speech-to-text runs on the phone. Audio is never uploaded or saved
- Talk-time balance and the tone of the room, so no one gets steamrolled
- A summary with takeaways, something to work on and a follow-up message. Keep it only if you want to
Live coaching arrives with the iPhone and Android apps. In the web app you can try it with a demo conversation.
Know each other a little better
Every person builds a simple profile, and the people in your circle can open it whenever they want to understand you better.
- Personality test: about 20 quick questions place you in one of four communication styles, with a “You and Alex” comparison for each person
- How we feel loved: a short quiz about what makes you feel cared for, so the coach can suggest things that land
- How to support me: a guide to what helps, and what doesn’t, when you’re struggling
- Share how I feel: name what you’re feeling and what would help, then send it as a coached message or keep it private
- How you text and Get to know you: your texting habits, words that sting, and a few new questions every few days
Weekly ideas, matched to both of you
Each week brings a fresh set of ideas for time together, chosen from what each of you likes. Everyone picks their favorites in private. When everyone has chosen, you see your matches and plan one.
- Picks stay hidden until everyone has picked, so no one just goes along
- Rate what you did, and next week’s ideas get better
- Our list: plans and things you want to do, checked off on the day you did them
- A calendar of what you did together, plus every past week’s picks
Grow on your own, and together
Set a small goal for the week or month, and say how your people can help: a gentle reminder, doing it with you, or no nagging at all. Shared goals belong to everyone, and each person adds their own part.
- Personal goals your circle can cheer on
- Shared goals anyone can update and check off
- A private check-in about two hours after a live conversation
- Reflect: after a hard (or good) talk, take a minute alone and get takeaways and a next step
Little things that add up
The small touches that make Tandem feel like it knows the people in your circle.
Things to say
A phrase library for apologizing, asking for space or reconnecting, when you can’t find the words.
Message reactions
A heart, a laugh or a hug, for the moments that don’t need a reply.
How you text
Short or long, emoji or none, what a slow reply means. The coach reads your messages the way you mean them.
Get to know you
Three new questions every few days, so your people learn a little more about you over time.
Your coach’s voice
Warm, straight to the point, or playful. Pick how you like advice delivered.
“You and Alex”
For each person in your circle: where you’re alike, where you differ, and a tip for each difference.
Session summaries
Takeaways, one thing to work on and a follow-up message you can send. Saved only if you keep it.
Past picks
Every week’s ideas and matches in one place, next to the calendar of what you did together.
Activity bell
New messages, cheers, your turn to pick and check-ins, all in one place with badges on each tab.
Cheers
Celebrate each other’s goals with a tap, and say exactly how you’d like to be supported.
Dark mode
Easy on the eyes for late-night talks. Switch it on the Me tab.
Phone or computer
Use it in any browser today. On a big screen, the coach sits right next to your conversation.
Try it with the people you love
Every feature is included while Tandem is in beta, for couples and families up to 5.